AT EACH
stage of his imprisonment he had known, or seemed to know,
whereabouts he was in the windowless building. Possibly there
were slight differences in the air pressure. The cells where the
guards had beaten him were below ground level. The room where he
had been interrogated by O'Brien was high up near the roof. This
place was many metres underground, as deep down as it was
possible to go. It was bigger than most of the cells he had been
in. But he hardly noticed his surroundings. All he noticed was
that there were two small tables straight in front of him, each
covered with green baize. One was only a metre or two from him,
the other was further away, near the door. He was strapped
upright in a chair, so tightly that he could move nothing, not
even his head. A sort of pad gripped his head from behind,
forcing him to look straight in front of him. For a moment he was
alone, then the door opened and O'Brien came in. 'You asked me
once,' said O'Brien, 'what was in Room 101. I told you that you
knew the answer already. Everyone knows it. The thing that is in
Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.' The door opened again.
A guard came in, carrying something made of wire, a box or basket
of some kind. He set it down on the further table. Because of the
position in which O'Brien was standing. Winston could not see
what the thing was. 'The worst thing in the world,' said O'Brien,
'varies from individual to individual. It may be burial alive, or
death by fire, or by drowning, or by impalement, or fifty other
deaths. There are cases where it is some quite trivial thing, not
even fatal.' He had moved a little to one side, so that Winston
had a better view of the thing on the table. It was an oblong
wire cage with a handle on top for carrying it by. Fixed to the
front of it was something that looked like a fencing mask, with
the concave side outwards. Although it was three or four metres
away from him, he could see that the cage was divided lengthways
into two compart ments, and that there was some kind of creature
in each. They were rats. 'In your case, said O'Brien, 'the worst
thing in the world happens to be rats.' A sort of premonitory
tremor, a fear of he was not certain what, had passed through
Winston as soon as he caught his first glimpse of the cage. But
at this moment the meaning of the mask-like attachment in front
of it suddenly sank into him. His bowels seemed to turn to water.
'You can't do that!' he cried out in a high cracked voice. 'You
couldn't, you couldn't! It's impossible.' 'Do you remember,' said
O'Brien, 'the moment of panic that used to occur in your dreams?
There was a wall of blackness in front of you, and a roaring
sound in your ears. There was something terrible on the other
side of the wall. You knew that you knew what it was, but you
dared not drag it into the open. It was the rats that were on the
other side of the wall.' 'O'Brien!' said Winston, making an
effort to control his voice. 'You know this is not necessary.
What is it that you want me to do?' O'Brien made no direct
answer. When he spoke it was in the schoolmasterish manner that
he sometimes affected. He looked thoughtfully into the distance,
as though he were addressing an audience somewhere behind
Winston's back. 'By itself,' he said, 'pain is not always enough.
There are occasions when a human being will stand out against
pain, even to the point of death. But for everyone there is
something unendurable -- something that cannot be contemplated.
Courage and cowardice are not involved. If you are falling from a
height it is not cowardly to clutch at a rope. If you have come
up from deep water it is not cowardly to fill your lungs with
air. It is merely an instinct which cannot be destroyed. It is
the same with the rats. For you, they are unendurable. They are a
form of pressure that you cannot withstand. even if you wished
to. You will do what is required of you. 'But what is it, what is
it? How can I do it if I don't know what it is?' O'Brien picked
up the cage and brought it across to the nearer table. He set it
down carefully on the baize cloth. Winston could hear the blood
singing in his ears. He had the feeling of sitting in utter
loneliness. He was in the middle of a great empty plain, a flat
desert drenched with sunlight, across which all sounds came to
him out of immense distances. Yet the cage with the rats was not
two metres away from him. They were enormous rats. They were at
the age when a rat's muzzle grows blunt and fierce and his fur
brown instead of grey. 'The rat,' said O'Brien, still addressing
his invisible audience, 'although a rodent, is carnivorous. You
are aware of that. You will have heard of the things that happen
in the poor quarters of this town. In some streets a woman dare
not leave her baby alone in the house, even for five minutes. The
rats are certain to attack it. Within quite a small time they
will strip it to the bones. They also attack sick or dying
people. They show astonishing intelligence in knowing when a
human being is helpless.' There was an outburst of squeals from
the cage. It seemed to reach Winston from far away. The rats were
fighting; they were trying to get at each other through the
partition. He heard also a deep groan of despair. That, too,
seemed to come from outside himself. O'Brien picked up the cage,
and, as he did so, pressed something in it. There was a sharp
click. Winston made a frantic effort to tear himself loose from
the chair. It was hopeless; every part of him, even his head, was
held immovably. O'Brien moved the cage nearer. It was less than a
metre from Winston's face. 'I have pressed the first lever,' said
O'Brien. 'You understand the construction of this cage. The mask
will fit over your head, leaving no exit. When I press this other
lever, the door of the cage will slide up. These starving brutes
will shoot out of it like bullets. Have you ever seen a rat leap
through the air? They will leap on to your face and bore straight
into it. Sometimes they attack the eyes first. Sometimes they
burrow through the cheeks and devour the tongue.' The cage was
nearer; it was closing in. Winston heard a succession of shrill
cries which appeared to be occurring in the air above his head.
But he fought furiously against his panic. To think, to think,
even with a split second left -- to think was the only hope.
Suddenly the foul musty odour of the brutes struck his nostrils.
There was a violent convulsion of nausea inside him, and he
almost lost consciousness. Everything had gone black. For an
instant he was insane, a screaming animal. Yet he came out of the
blackness clutching an idea. There was one and only one way to
save himself. He must interpose another human being, the body
of another human being, between himself and the rats. The circle
of the mask was large enough now to shut out the vision of
anything else. The wire door was a couple of hand-spans from his
face. The rats knew what was coming now. One of them was leaping
up and down, the other, an old scaly grandfather of the sewers,
stood up, with his pink hands against the bars, and fiercely
sniffed the air. Winston could see the whiskers and the yellow
teeth. Again the black panic took hold of him. He was blind,
helpless, mindless. 'It was a common punishment in Imperial
China,' said O'Brien as didactically as ever. The mask was
closing on his face. The wire brushed his cheek. And then -- no,
it was not relief, only hope, a tiny fragment of hope. Too late,
perhaps too late. But he had suddenly understood that in the
whole world there was just one person to whom he could
transfer his punishment -- one body that he could thrust
between himself and the rats. And he was shouting frantically,
over and over. 'Do it to Julia! Do it to Julia! Not me! Julia! I
don't care what you do to her. Tear her face off, strip her to
the bones. Not me! Julia! Not me!' He was falling backwards, into
enormous depths, away from the rats. He was still strapped in the
chair, but he had fallen through the floor, through the walls of
the building, through the earth, through the oceans, through the
atmosphere, into outer space, into the gulfs between the stars --
always away, away, away from the rats. He was light years
distant, but O'Brien was still standing at his side. There was
still the cold touch of wire against his cheek. But through the
darkness that enveloped him he heard another metallic click, and
knew that the cage door had clicked shut and not open.
x x x
- The Chestnut Tree was almost empty. A ray of sunlight
slanting through a window fell on dusty table-tops. It
was the lonely hour of fifteen. A tinny music trickled
from the telescreens.
- Winston sat in his usual corner, gazing into an empty
glass. Now and again he glanced up at a vast face which
eyed him from the opposite wall. BIG
BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU, the caption said.
Unbidden, a waiter came and filled his glass up with
Victory Gin, shaking into it a few drops from another
bottle with a quill through the cork. It was saccharine
flavoured with cloves, the speciality of the cafe.
- Winston was listening to the telescreen. At present only
music was coming out of it, but there was a possibility
that at any moment there might be a special bulletin from
the Ministry of Peace. The news from the African front
was disquieting in the extreme. On and off he had been
worrying about it all day. A Eurasian army (Oceania was
at war with Eurasia: Oceania had always been at war with
Eurasia) was moving southward at terrifying speed. The
mid-day bulletin had not mentioned any definite area, but
it was probable that already the mouth of the Congo was a
battlefield. Brazzaville and Leopoldville were in danger.
One did not have to look at the map to see what it meant.
It was not merely a question of losing Central Africa:
for the first time in the whole war, the territory of
Oceania itself was menaced.
- A violent emotion, not fear exactly but a sort of
undifferentiated excitement, flared up in him, then faded
again. He stopped thinking about the war. In these days
he could never fix his mind on any one subject for more
than a few moments at a time. He picked up his glass and
drained it at a gulp. As always, the gin made him shudder
and even retch slightly. The stuff was horrible. The
cloves and saccharine, themselves disgusting enough in
their sickly way, could not disguise the flat oily smell;
and what was worst of all was that the smell of gin,
which dwelt with him night and day, was inextricably
mixed up in his mind with the smell of those-
- He never named them, even in his thoughts, and so far as
it was possible he never visualized them. They were
something that he was half-aware of, hovering close to
his face, a smell that clung to his nostrils. As the gin
rose in him he belched through purple lips. He had grown
fatter since they released him, and had regained his old
colour -- indeed, more than regained it. His features had
thickened, the skin on nose and cheekbones was coarsely
red, even the bald scalp was too deep a pink. A waiter,
again unbidden, brought the chessboard and the current
issue of The Times, with the page turned down at
the chess problem. Then, seeing that Winston's glass was
empty, he brought the gin bottle and filled it. There was
no need to give orders. They knew his habits. The
chessboard was always waiting for him, his corner table
was always reserved; even when the place was full he had
it to himself, since nobody cared to be seen sitting too
close to him. He never even bothered to count his drinks.
At irregular intervals they presented him with a dirty
slip of paper which they said was the bill, but he had
the impression that they always undercharged him. It
would have made no difference if it had been the other
way about. He had always plenty of money nowadays. He
even had a job, a sinecure, more highly-paid than his old
job had been.
- The music from the telescreen stopped and a voice took
over. Winston raised his head to listen. No bulletins
from the front, however. It was merely a brief
announcement from the Ministry of Plenty. In the
preceding quarter, it appeared, the Tenth ThreeYear
Plan's quota for bootlaces had been overfulfilled by 98
per cent.
- He examined the chess problem and set out the pieces. It
was a tricky ending, involving a couple of knights.
'White to play and mate in two moves.' Winston looked up
at the portrait of Big Brother. White always mates, he
thought with a sort of cloudy mysticism. Always, without
exception, it is so arranged. In no chess problem since
the beginning of the world has black ever won. Did it not
symbolize the eternal, unvarying triumph of Good over
Evil? The huge face gazed back at him, full of calm
power. White always mates.
- The voice from the telescreen paused and added in a
different and much graver tone: 'You are warned to stand
by for an important announcement at fifteen-thirty.
Fifteen- thirty! This is news of the highest importance.
Take care not to miss it. Fifteen-thirty !' The tinking
music struck up again.
- Winston's heart stirred. That was the bulletin from the
front; instinct told him that it was bad news that was
coming. All day, with little spurts of excitement, the
thought of a smashing defeat in Africa had been in and
out of his mind. He seemed actually to see the Eurasian
army swarming across the never-broken frontier and
pouring down into the tip of Africa like a column of
ants. Why had it not been possible to outflank them in
some way? The outline of the West African coast stood out
vividly in his mind. He picked up the white knight and
moved it across the board. There was the proper
spot. Even while he saw the black horde racing southward
he saw another force, mysteriously assembled, suddenly
planted in their rear, cutting their comunications by
land and sea. He felt that by willing it he was bringing
that other force into existence. But it was necessary to
act quickly. If they could get control of the whole of
Africa, if they had airfields and submarine bases at the
Cape, it would cut Oceania in two. It might mean
anything: defeat, breakdown, the redivision of the world,
the destruction of the Party! He drew a deep breath. An
extraordinary medley of feeling-but it was not a medley,
exactly; rather it was successive layers of feeling, in
which one could not say which layer was undermost
struggled inside him.
- The spasm passed. He put the white knight back in its
place, but for the moment he could not settle down to
serious study of the chess problem. His thoughts wandered
again. Almost unconsciously he traced with his finger in
the dust on the table: 2+2=
- 'They can't get inside you,' she had said. But they could
get inside you. 'What happens to you here is for
ever,' O'Brien had said. That was a true word. There
were things, your own acts, from which you could never
recover. Something was killed in your breast: burnt out,
cauterized out.
- He had seen her; he had even spoken to her. There was no
danger in it. He knew as though instinctively that they
now took almost no interest in his doings. He could have
arranged to meet her a second time if either of them had
wanted to. Actually it was by chance that they had met.
It was in the Park, on a vile, biting day in March, when
the earth was like iron and all the grass seemed dead and
there was not a bud anywhere except a few crocuses which
had pushed themselves up to be dismembered by the wind.
He was hurrying along with frozen hands and watering eyes
when he saw her not ten metres away from him. It struck
him at once that she had changed in some ill-defined way.
They almost passed one another without a sign, then he
turned and followed her, not very eagerly. He knew that
there was no danger, nobody would take any interest in
him. She did not speak. She walked obliquely away across
the grass as though trying to get rid of him, then seemed
to resign herself to having him at her side. Presently
they were in among a clump of ragged leafless shrubs,
useless either for concealment or as protection from the
wind. They halted. It was vilely cold. The wind whistled
through the twigs and fretted the occasional,
dirty-looking crocuses. He put his arm round her waist.
- There was no telescreen, but there must be hidden
microphones: besides, they could be seen. It did not
matter, nothing mattered. They could have lain down on
the ground and done that if they had wanted to.
His flesh froze with horror at the thought of it. She
made no response whatever to the clasp of his arm ; she
did not even try to disengage herself. He knew now what
had changed in her. Her face was sallower, and there was
a long scar, partly hidden by the hair, across her
forehead and temple; but that was not the change. It was
that her waist had grown thicker, and, in a surprising
way, had stiffened. He remembered how once, after the
explosion of a rocket bomb, he had helped to drag a
corpse out of some ruins, and had been astonished not
only by the incredible weight of the thing, but by its
rigidity and awkwardness to handle, which made it seem
more like stone than flesh. Her body felt like that. It
occurred to him that the texture of her skin would be
quite different from what it had once been.
- He did not attempt to kiss her, nor did they speak. As
they walked back across the grass, she looked directly at
him for the first time. It was only a momentary glance,
full of contempt and dislike. He wondered whether it was
a dislike that came purely out of the past or whether it
was inspired also by his bloated face and the water that
the wind kept squeezing from his eyes. They sat down on
two iron chairs, side by side but not too close together.
He saw that she was about to speak. She moved her clumsy
shoe a few centimetres and deliberately crushed a twig.
Her feet seemed to have grown broader, he noticed.
- 'I betrayed you,' she said baldly.
- 'I betrayed you,' he said.
- She gave him another quick look of dislike.
- 'Sometimes,' she said, 'they threaten you with something
something you can't stand up to, can't even think about.
And then you say, "Don't do it to me, do it to
somebody else, do it to So-and-so." And perhaps you
might pretend, afterwards, that it was only a trick and
that you just said it to make them stop and didn't really
mean it. But that isn't true. At the time when it happens
you do mean it. You think there's no other way of saving
yourself, and you're quite ready to save yourself that
way. You want it to happen to the other person.
You don't give a damn what they suffer. All you care
about is yourself.'
- 'All you care about is yourself,' he echoed.
- 'And after that, you don't feel the same towards the
other person any longer.'
- 'No,' he said, 'you don't feel the same.'
- There did not seem to be anything more to say. The wind
plastered their thin overalls against their bodies.
Almost at once it became embarrassing to sit there in
silence: besides, it was too cold to keep still. She said
something about catching her Tube and stood up to go.
- 'We must meet again,' he said.
- 'Yes,' she said, 'we must meet again. '
- He followed irresolutely for a little distance, half a
pace behind her. They did not speak again. She did not
actually try to shake him off, but walked at just such a
speed as to prevent his keeping abreast of her. He had
made up his mind that he would accompany her as far as
the Tube station, but suddenly this process of trailing
along in the cold seemed pointless and unbearable. He was
overwhelmed by a desire not so much to get away from
Julia as to get back to the Chestnut Tree Cafe/, which
had never seemed so attractive as at this moment. He had
a nostalgic vision of his corner table, with the
newspaper and the chessboard and the everflowing gin.
Above all, it would be warm in there. The next moment,
not altogether by accident, he allowed himself to become
separated from her by a small knot of people. He made a
halfhearted attempt to catch up, then slowed down,
turned, and made off in the opposite direction. When he
had gone fifty metres he looked back. The street was not
crowded, but already he could not distinguish her. Any
one of a dozen hurrying figures might have been hers.
Perhaps her thickened, stiffened body was no longer
recognizable from behind.
- 'At the time when it happens,' she had said, 'you do mean
it.' He had meant it. He had not merely said it, he had
wished it. He had wished that she and not he should be
delivered over to the-
- Something changed in the music that trickled from the
telescreen. A cracked and jeering note, a yellow note,
came into it. And then -- perhaps it was not happening,
perhaps it was only a memory taking on the semblance of
sound -- a voice was singing:
- 'Under the spreading chestnut tree
- I sold you and you sold me '
- The tears welled up in his eyes. A passing waiter noticed
that his glass was empty and came back with the gin
bottle.
- He took up his glass and sniffed at it. The stuff grew
not less but more horrible with every mouthful he drank.
But it had become the element he swam in. It was his
life, his death, and his resurrection. It was gin that
sank him into stupor every night, and gin that revived
him every morning. When he woke, seldom before eleven
hundred, with gummed-up eyelids and fiery mouth and a
back that seemed to be broken, it would have been
impossible even to rise from the horizontal if it had not
been for the bottle and teacup placed beside the bed
overnight. Through the midday hours he sat with glazed
face, the bottle handy, listening to the telescreen. From
fifteen to closing-time he was a fixture in the Chestnut
Tree. No one cared what he did any longer, no whistle
woke him, no telescreen admonished him. Occasionally,
perhaps twice a week, he went to a dusty,
forgotten-looking office in the Ministry of Truth and did
a little work, or what was called work. He had been
appointed to a sub-committee of a sub-committee which had
sprouted from one of the innumerable committees dealing
with minor difficulties that arose in the compilation of
the Eleventh Edition of the Newspeak Dictionary. They
were engaged in producing something called an Interim
Report, but what it was that they were reporting on he
had never definitely found out. It was something to do
with the question of whether commas should be placed
inside brackets, or outside. There were four others on
the committee, all of them persons similar to himself.
There were days when they assembled and then promptly
dispersed again, frankly admitting to one another that
there was not really anything to be done. But there were
other days when they settled down to their work almost
eagerly, making a tremendous show of entering up their
minutes and drafting long memoranda which were never
finished -- when the argument as to what they were
supposedly arguing about grew extraordinarily involved
and abstruse, with subtle haggling over definitions,
enormous digressions, quarrels threats, even, to appeal
to higher authority. And then suddenly the life would go
out of them and they would sit round the table looking at
one another with extinct eyes, like ghosts fading at
cock-crow.
- The telescreen was silent for a moment. Winston raised
his head again. The bulletin! But no, they were merely
changing the music. He had the map of Africa behind his
eyelids. The movement of the armies was a diagram: a
black arrow tearing vertically southward, and a white
arrow horizontally eastward, across the tail of the
first. As though for reassurance he looked up at the
imperturbable face in the portrait. Was it conceivable
that the second arrow did not even exist?
- His interest flagged again. He drank another mouthful of
gin, picked up the white knight and made a tentative
move. Check. But it was evidently not the right move,
because
- Uncalled, a memory floated into his mind. He saw a
candle-lit room with a vast white-counterpaned bed, and
himself, a boy of nine or ten, sitting on the floor,
shaking a dice-box, and laughing excitedly. His mother
was sitting opposite him and also laughing.
- It must have been about a month before she disappeared.
It was a moment of reconciliation, when the nagging
hunger in his belly was forgotten and his earlier
affection for her had temporarily revived. He remembered
the day well, a pelting, drenching day when the water
streamed down the window-pane and the light indoors was
too dull to read by. The boredom of the two children in
the dark, cramped bedroom became unbearable. Winston
whined and grizzled, made futile demands for food,
fretted about the room pulling everything out of place
and kicking the wainscoting until the neighbours banged
on the wall, while the younger child wailed
intermittently. In the end his mother said, 'Now be good,
and I'Il buy you a toy. A lovely toy -- you'll love it';
and then she had gone out in the rain, to a little
general shop which was still sporadically open nearby,
and came back with a cardboard box containing an outfit
of Snakes and Ladders. He could still remember the smell
of the damp cardboard. It was a miserable outfit. The
board was cracked and the tiny wooden dice were so
ill-cut that they would hardly lie on their sides.
Winston looked at the thing sulkily and without interest.
But then his mother lit a piece of candle and they sat
down on the floor to play. Soon he was wildly excited and
shouting with laughter as the tiddly-winks climbed
hopefully up the ladders and then came slithering down
the snakes again, almost to the starting- point. They
played eight games, winning four each. His tiny sister,
too young to understand what the game was about, had sat
propped up against a bolster, laughing because the others
were laughing. For a whole afternoon they had all been
happy together, as in his earlier childhood.
- He pushed the picture out of his mind. It was a false
memory. He was troubled by false memories occasionally.
They did not matter so long as one knew them for what
they were. Some things had happened, others had not
happened. He turned back to the chessboard and picked up
the white knight again. Almost in the same instant it
dropped on to the board with a clatter. He had started as
though a pin had run into him.
- A shrill trumpet-call had pierced the air. It was the
bulletin! Victory! It always meant victory when a
trumpet- call preceded the news. A sort of electric drill
ran through the cafe/. Even the waiters had started and
pricked up their ears.
- The trumpet-call had let loose an enormous volume of
noise. Already an excited voice was gabbling from the
telescreen, but even as it started it was almost drowned
by a roar of cheering from outside. The news had run
round the streets like magic. He could hear just enough
of what was issuing from the telescreen to realize that
it had all happened, as he had foreseen; a vast seaborne
armada had secretly assembled a sudden blow in the
enemy's rear, the white arrow tearing across the tail of
the black. Fragments of triumphant phrases pushed
themselves through the din: 'Vast strategic manoeuvre --
perfect co-ordination -- utter rout -- half a million
prisoners -- complete demoralization -- control of the
whole of Africa -- bring the war within measurable
distance of its end victory -- greatest victory in human
history -- victory, victory, victory !'
- Under the table Winston's feet made convulsive movements.
He had not stirred from his seat, but in his mind he was
running, swiftly running, he was with the crowds outside,
cheering himself deaf. He looked up again at the portrait
of Big Brother. The colossus that bestrode the world !
The rock against which the hordes of Asia dashed
themselves in vain ! He thought how ten minutes ago-yes,
only ten minutes -- there had still been equivocation in
his heart as he wondered whether the news from the front
would be of victory or defeat. Ah, it was more than a
Eurasian army that had perished! Much had changed in him
since that first day in the Ministry of Love, but the
final, indispensable, healing change had never happened,
until this moment.
- The voice from the telescreen was still pouring forth its
tale of prisoners and booty and slaughter, but the
shouting outside had died down a little. The waiters were
turning back to their work. One of them approached with
the gin bottle. Winston, sitting in a blissful dream,
paid no attention as his glass was filled up. He was not
running or cheering any longer. He was back in the
Ministry of Love, with everything forgiven, his soul
white as snow. He was in the public dock, confessing
everything, implicating everybody. He was walking down
the white-tiled corridor, with the feeling of walking in
sunlight, and an armed guard at his back. The
longhoped-for bullet was entering his brain.
- He gazed up at the enormous face. Forty years it had
taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden beneath
the dark moustache. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O
stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two
gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose.
But it was all right, everything was all right, the
struggle was finished. He had won the victory over
himself. He loved Big Brother.